The Legalization of Gender Neutral Marriage from the Perspective of a Christian College Student
- C., College Jr. ◎ 翻譯：秦黃業玲
The first time I was exposed to the topic of gay marriage was when I was in middle school; it was around 2008 and I heard people talking about Proposition 8 on the news, at church, and at school. With my Chinese and Christian background, it’s safe to say that I was fairly traditional and totally against gay marriage. My more liberal friends at the time scolded me for being insensitive, and told me to should try to be more “open-minded.” Disregarding their remarks, my parents and I kept our stance on gay marriage along with approximately 52% of the U.S. population. Prop 8 passed, gay marriage was banned (動詞: 禁止), and the world kept on spinning (動詞: 旋轉). Fast forward to present day and same-sex marriage is now legal in all 50 states. The ideology of marriage in the U.S. has changed quite a bit since 2008, and as a Christian attending a diverse university and living in a liberal state, it’s quite challenging to not go with the flow.
From an objective point of view, since marriage is viewed as a capstone (名詞:頂峰;主要) experience, Christians condemning gender (名詞:性別) neutral (形容詞:中立) marriage is seen as denying gay people their right to pursue happiness. From a Christian’s point of view, the Bible is the word of God—it is sacred and it is the truth. Although many “Christians” have historically interpreted the Bible in erroneous ways (e.g. using the Bible to promote war), the Bible blatantly (副詞:公然地;露骨地) condemns homosexual relations as sin. In addition, marriage is defined in the Bible as a sacred bond between a man and a woman blessed by God, thus, it is pretty insulting (動詞:辱罵;侮辱) to Christians for queers (名詞:同性戀者) to demand the right to marry. Why? Because the simple definition of a marriage, defined by God, is a consecrated (形容詞:神聖的) tie between a man and a woman; asking the church to bless a gay marriage is like asking God to bless a thief before he/she robs a bank. On the flipside, many people (“some Christians” as well) believe that true love has no bounds and that same-sex relationships are no exception. The funny thing is that each party believes that the other is close-minded. Christians believe that those who support same-sex marriage are blinded by sin and need a Godly perspective while supporters of same-sex marriage believe that Christians need to be more inclusive and that Christians do not have the right to tell people how to live their lives.
My argument (名詞: 爭執;爭吵;辯論) is that being open-minded doesn’t mean going with the flow, it means accepting the fact that people have different beliefs and allowing people to live according to those beliefs as long as it doesn’t take away from anyone’s basic human rights. It pains me to see how intolerant (形容詞: 不寬容的;偏狹的) and disrespectful (形容詞: 不尊重) both parties are towards each other. I’ve seen and heard of those in favor of same-sex marriage disrespecting God and those who believe in Him. I’ve seen the pro-gay community create pictures of Jesus kissing men, and I’ve heard things like, “Jesus had two dads and he came out fine.” I understand that people have the right to share their opinions and the right to speak their minds, but it irks (動詞: 惱怒;使生氣) me how disrespectful people are towards one another. I’ve seen “Christians” hold signs saying, “God hates fags,” and as much as it irritates(動詞: 使煩躁) me to see this, people have the right to say whatever they want. Yes, the freedom of speech is a basic human right, but this right should not be manipulated (動詞: 操控;操縱) to spread hatred through the use of disrespectful and ignorant (形容詞: 粗魯的;蒙昧的) language.
One of the biggest commandments in which Christians should live by is the principle to love one another. Though I may not support the queer lifestyle, I can still love queers individually as people. In terms of marriage, I believe gay people have the right to choose to be together and receive the same economic benefits a nuclear couple would because I have no right to tell people who they can and cannot choose to be with. However, I wouldn’t call it marriage by God’s standards; instead, I’d call it marriage by human standards. God didn’t create us to judge each other—that’s His job, not ours. God said to live honestly and to share His love by treating one another with respect.
Yes, the world is changing, and yes, it’s not changing in favor of Christians. Nonetheless, this situation does not permit followers of Christ to be disrespectful and impatient towards nonbelievers. Though the patterns (名詞: 花樣;圖案) of this world are not always aligned with the Bible, the commandment of loving one another still stands, and though we can’t control how other people act, we can definitely control how we choose to represent God.
性別中立婚姻合法化之我見
我首次接觸到同性婚姻這個課題，是唸初中的時候，大概是2008年吧。那陣子，我在新聞、教會和學校都聽到人們在談論八號提案。作為一個華裔基督徒，可以說我是蠻傳統的，對同性婚姻，我是百分之百反對。當時，一些較開放的朋友都責罵我，說我不夠體貼，叫我要「開明」一點。不管他們怎樣說，我和父母跟大概52%的人口都堅守著我們的看法。八號提案通過了，同性婚姻被禁，世界如常在轉動。時移勢逆，走到今天，同性婚姻已在五十州合法化了。自2008年起，美國對婚姻的意識形態改變了不少，而我，這個居住在一個非常開放的州份，上一所多元化大學的基督徒，要不隨波逐流，實非易事！
客觀來說，由於婚姻被視為一種不可取代的經歷，因此，基督徒對性別中立婚姻的譴責，往往就被詮釋為否定同性戀者追求快樂的權利。從一個基督徒的角度來看，聖經就是神的話，是聖潔的、是真理。雖然，在歷史中，也有許多所謂的「基督徒」錯誤地闡釋聖經，如，利用聖經來鼓吹戰爭等。但，聖經卻是斬釘截鐵地遣責同性關係，並明確地視之為罪。根據聖經的定義，婚姻是蒙神祝福的，是一男一女神聖的結合，因此，同性戀者爭取婚姻合法化的這個要求，對基督徒來說是一個很大的侮辱。為什麼？因為神為婚姻下的定義，就是一男一女神聖的結連。要求教會去祝福同性婚姻，就好像叫神祝福一個將要去打劫銀行的強盜一樣。反過來說，許多人(包括一些基督徒) 都相信，真愛無界限，同性關係也不例外。有趣的是，正反陣營都覺得對方太拘泥、不夠寬容。基督徒相信那些同性婚姻的支持者，都是被罪蒙敝，需要以神的觀點來看事情；贊成同性婚姻的人，卻認為基督徒要有更多的包容，他們根本沒有權利去告訴別人怎樣過生活。
我的理據是，「開明」(open-minded) 不等於隨波逐流，我們可以接受別人持有不同的信念，容許別人按著他們的信念過日子，只要這些信念/生活，不會奪走任何人的基本權利。看到兩個陣營對彼此的不尊重、不接納，實在叫我難受。我曾經聽到、看到那些支持同性婚姻的人，怎樣去藐視神及那些信神的人。有一個支持同性戀的社區，甚至畫了一幅耶穌親吻男人的圖畫，一些人甚是說類似這樣的話—「耶穌有兩個父親，衪還不是好好的。」我明白，每個人都有權利去分享他們的意見，表達自己的思想，但，令我生氣的是他們對別人的不尊重。另一方面，我也曾看過有某些「基督徒」，舉起一個寫著「神憎恨男同性戀者」的告示牌。其實，讓我煩躁的，不僅僅是這些舉動，而是，人們喜歡說什麼就說什麼的這個所謂的權利。是的，言論自由是基本的人權，但，我們不應該利用操縱這個權利，透過無禮及粗劣的言語來散佈仇恨。
基督徒應該要遵守的其中一個最大的命令，就是彼此相愛。雖然對同性戀者的生活模式，我並不太贊同，但，我還是會愛那些有同性戀傾向的人，就如我會去愛其他人一樣。就婚姻而言，我相信同性戀者有權選擇跟誰生活在一起，也有權享受其他核心夫婦所有的經濟權益。因為我沒有權利去告訴別人，他們可以跟誰在一起，不可以跟誰在一起。然而，根據神的標準，我不能稱之為婚姻，充其量，從人的角度來說，這樣的婚姻是合法的。神創造我們，不是要我們彼此論斷；審判不是我們的工作，乃是神的工作。神要我們忠誠過活，透過彼此尊重與人分享神的愛。
誠然，世界一直在變。誠然，這些改變並不有利於基督徒。縱然如此，並不代表基督的跟隨者可以粗魯和不耐煩地對待那些非信徒。雖然，這個世界的樣式不常常和聖經吻合，然而，彼此相愛的命令，卻是永遠不會改變的。雖然，我們不能控制別人的行動，但，我們卻可以選擇怎樣做，才可以見證神！