“Sex sells.” That is what a contestant on Dancing with the Stars said many years ago, a comment that stood out (慣用語:突出;顯眼) to me as an adolescent and which has been continuously emphasized in our media, entertainment industry, and popular culture. We are bombarded (動詞:猛炸;轟擊) with ideals of beauty like Scarlett Johansson or Beyonce that teach girls they should have and reveal(動詞:展現;顯露) certain assets (名詞:資產) to gain the attention or affection(名詞: 感情; 慈愛) of males while boys are also fed the same lies that sensual (形容詞:肉體上的;官能的) appeal (名詞:懇求;呼籲;魅力) is equivalent (形容詞:等同的;等價的) to self-worth. If this isn’t true, then why do we always talk about who the hottest celebrity is, the perfection of Victoria’s Secret models’ bodies, the secrets to losing weight and gaining (動詞:增加體重/速度/高) muscle (名詞:肌肉)? Why would a dancer, who should be judged on her dancing ability and technique, acknowledge that her and her partner’s high scores could be credited to the profitability of sexiness? Brands like Abercrombie & Fitch, Axe, and even Carl’s Junior use sexual enticement (名詞:引誘;慫恿) in their advertisements while popular TV shows are stuffed full of scandalous (形容詞:可恥的;丟臉的;令人憤慨的) affairs, sleeping around (片詞:尋歡作樂;淫亂) and naked (形容詞:裸體嗎) people. When the average American spends 2.8 hours a day watching TV, such images cease (名詞: 停止;終止) to be extraordinary (形容詞:異常的;特別的;破例的;非凡的) though not their impact (名詞:影響;作用) on those exposed (動詞:暴露) to it (U.S. BLS 2013 statistics).
The cultural power of sexual impurity has extended its influence so much so that these things seem normal and anyone on the opposing side is “prudish” (形容詞:過份拘謹), “conservative” (形容詞:保守), or “uptight” (形容詞:憤怒). Society mocks (動詞:假裝;嘲弄;嘲笑) modesty (名詞:羞怯;端莊) and the new generation doesn’t even know what that means anymore. Everything is now relative (形容詞:比較的;相對的); each individual is entitled (動詞:授予權利) to following his or her own make of rules and standards.
The young people of our society have taken ownership of this assertion (名詞:聲明;主張) that lust (名詞:性慾;淫慾) is okay. I’ve heard friends say that they would be okay if their boyfriend watches pornography (名詞:色情描繪) because they need it, as if satisfying their sexual appetite were equivalent to eating enough food to live, as if they cannot help it. Sexual intimacy between a loving, albeit (連接詞:儘管;雖然) unmarried, couple is nothing out of the norm because it’s natural. A couple living together before marriage is something like love, or like trying out a pair of jeans in the fitting room to see if it fits you and pleases you well enough before you’ll put down the money for it. And even then, you have a receipt. Just in case you don’t like it so much later on, or you find a defect (名詞:缺點;缺陷) with your purchase and want to return or an exchange.
Commitment nowadays is based on a consumerist (形容詞:消費主義的) approach, you stay if you like it and you leave when you don’t. Sacrifice, forgiveness, self-control, humility, trust, and other important virtues in addition to commitment are hardly as interesting as the breathless excitement of the sensual demonstrations of love, or lust, that are sold out in theaters. But physical attraction or intimacy cannot guarantee a long-lasting or healthy relationship. And when relationships lack a strong foundation, but instead finds its examples in the movies, songs, tabloids (名:詞:通俗小報), etc., it’s no wonder that we see so many cases of adultery, divorce, broken families, broken people. Everyone wants love, but unwittingly (副詞:不知不覺地) replaces it with lust, a cheaper imitation (名詞:仿製品;模仿) of the real thing that can never live up to (片語:達到;實踐) what it promises (動詞:答應).
Instead of the false fulfillment (名詞:滿足感;成就感）lust offers, what people need to learn is how to love and what that looks like. “This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers” (1 John 3:16). The greatest act of love is sacrifice. If we understand God’s love for us, then we will understand how to respond with love and how to love. Love comes from God and loving God means obeying God, honoring His standards above our own. Submitting (動詞:順從;服從) to God’s supreme plan for sex and the satisfaction of sexual desires within marriage is not easy, but like releasing every other struggle and longing our human hearts hide or cultivate (動詞:培養;養成), it is true freedom. It almost seems ironic (形容詞:諷刺意味的;出乎意料的), but what is actually happening is that we are receiving true freedom by relinquishing (動詞:放棄;交出) the worldly freedom that drains the life out of its host. We have been set free from sin and a life apart from God by Jesus’ sacrifice so that we can receive the blessings from God to bless His name. When we turn our focus from the weakness and failures of humanness(名詞:為人;人性) to the ultimate (形容詞:終極) perfection of the Creator, there we find our strength.
◎ Rebecca Ger
幾年前，一位《與星共舞》的參賽者的一句話，一個傳媒、娛樂事業及流行文化，都在吹棒著的觀念–「性是個大賣點」，曾一度在我那青少年的心中徘徊。如史嘉莉喬韓森或碧昂絲等所美貌主義，不斷地被如連珠炮似地轟炸著我們。為要博取注意力，或男性的好感，女孩子應該要把天賦的資產顯露出來；連男孩子也被誤導，以為性感的外表就等同自我價值。如果這個不是事實，為什麼我們常常會把誰是最熱門的明星、誰具有維多利亞秘蜜那些模特兒般的完美身段、如何能減磅增肌肉等話題，掛在口邊？一位舞蹈家，應該是憑自己的舞蹈技巧及能力奪標，卻認為她和舞伴之所以獨佔鰲頭是歸功於性感？如阿貝克隆比费奇(A&F)、凌士 (Axe)，甚至卡樂星漢堡等品牌，都以性感的引誘，作為廣告的主打。流行的電視節目都充塞著駭人聽聞的曖昧關係、尋歡作樂及裸露的鏡頭。當美國人平均每日會花上二點八個小時看電視，這些形像之多，就不僅僅是超越尋常這樣簡單，更不用談它對觀眾帶來的衝擊。(US. BLS 2013統計) 。
不貞這股文化勢力的影響可以說是無遠弗屆，人們似乎已經把它看為稀鬆平常，誰反對，誰就是「固步自封」、「過份保守」。端莊成了社會的笑柄，到一個地步，新的一代甚至不知端莊為何物。所有的事都是相對的，每個人都有權按著自己的標準規則行事。社會年輕一代都擁抱著這個主張，認定性慾、淫亂是可以接受的。我曾聽過我的朋友說，她允許自己的男朋友看色情電影、圖片，因為這是他的需要，只要能滿足到他的性慾，那是沒有問題的。就好像人需要食物來維持生命一樣，人根本不能自主的，儘管還沒有結婚，一對相愛的戀人仍然是可以有性生活的，因為這是理所當然的。在結婚前，住在一起，就好像穿上一條褲子，在還沒有付費之前，到試衣間去看看是否合身，是否合你心意一樣。就是付了錢，你還是會有收據，如果往後你不再喜歡，或是你發現褲子有不足之處，你想要退貨或換另一條，還是可以的！
現今的世代，我們會以消費者的角度來看承諾和委身，喜歡就留下來，不喜歡就離開。承諾加上犧牲、饒恕、節制、謙讓、信任等美德，遠遠比不上劇院裡大派場，用肉體的情慾來表達愛帶來的那一種令人喘不過氣來的興奮。然而，肉體的吸引或性生活，並不能保證一段永久或健康的關係。當男女關係沒有穩固基礎，只能在電視、歌曲或通俗的小報等找出一些做例子時，我們看見的是數不清的婚外情、離異、破碎家庭和受傷害的人。每個人都盼望得到愛，卻不經意地把情慾代替了愛。情慾只是真愛的贋品，它永遠不能履行它的諾言。
與其追求情慾提供那錯誤的滿足感，人們需要學習怎樣去愛，學習怎樣去辨別何為愛。「主為我們捨命，我們從此就知道何為愛；我們也當為弟兄捨命。」(約翰一書3:16)。愛最偉大的流露就是犧牲。如果我們能明白神對我們的愛，我們就能明白怎樣以愛還愛，並且知道怎樣去愛。愛是從神來的，愛神就是順服神，把衪的標準置放在我們的標準以上。順服神在性上面的計劃，並接受神在婚姻中賜予我們從性生活而得到的滿足，就好像要我們把心中所隱藏、所養成其他的掙扎或期許交出來一樣，並不是容易的事，卻能真正帶給我們自由。看起來有點莫明其妙，實際上，要得到真正的自由，我們必須先放下耗盡我們生命的，世界上的所謂的自由。因著耶穌的犧牲，神把我們從罪惡過犯中釋放出來，賜福給我們，讓我們可以榮耀衪的名。當我們把我們的焦點從人性的失敗及軟弱，轉到創造者終極的完全上，我們就能找到力量！
◎ 翻譯：秦黃業玲